My Past and My Future, Starting a Journey

I was born in 1992 on the East coast of the United States. My mother was what she called 'Presbyterian' and my father was agnostic, so I didn't grow up in a very religious household. My aunts, uncles, cousins, and family friends were all obviously Christian (I can't even count how many baptisms, first communions, and religious weddings I've been to before I was even 13), but I've always felt a feeling of disconnect from Christianity. It simply didn't sit well with me, but I was too young to know why.

When I was 12-13, I began to shape my own opinions and morals, and I began to see that Christian values didn't match up with them. Eventually I discovered Wicca, although I can't remember how or from whom. I liked the general feel of it, but I always felt awkward and ridiculous. This was mostly due to a lack of good resources, but a bounty of bad ones. I had several books by Silver RavenWolf (more on her in a future post), and one book where the rituals were overly complex without much explanation. Once, my tolerant parents even took me to a Wiccan shop in the city so I could get supplies. Sadly, the woman there treated me like I wasn't trying to be serious and quizzed me before she allowed me to make my purchase. This seemed like the last straw, as I quickly drifted away from Wicca once I was almost 14 and continued on with dissatisfied atheism.

Starting late in my senior year of high school, I got a new yearning for spirituality. I researched religions online (Wikipedia was great for getting the basic concepts), trying beliefs on like new clothes. Most of them didn't fit. Hinduism was the only one that stuck, but even that was only for a couple of months. After Hinduism failed, I fell back into my spiritual void, now only kept company by my discovered belief in pantheism.

In mid-late 2013, I came out of my void when I noticed my girlfriend browsing /r/occult, a section of Reddit.com dedicated to the occult, magick, and the esoteric. I started looking around there and discovered Thelema (this topic will get its own post soon, along with it's connection to Wicca). I read the sacred text of the Liber al Legis, the Book of the Law, and felt the first spiritual experience of my life. I finally found something that sat well within me. For the first time, I was driven to do research beyond a few websites. I downloaded loads of books and resources and read the Book of the Law several more times. I really felt a connection to Nuit (representing the concept of endless space) and Hadit (the concept of an infinitely small point).

Unfortunately, as I dug deeper, I grew uncomfortable. Occultism felt too deep and intense for me to handle, and I was put off by what I interpret as unwarranted wrath and violence hidden within Thelema's core. Ra-Hoor-Khuit, a god of war and son of Nuit and Hadit, didn't resonate with me like His parents did. At about this time, Wicca slipped quietly and unobtrusively back into my life.

I stepped away from deep occultism and over to Wicca, learning more about it in a day than I did in that first month back in middle school. I was able to recognize and discern good and bad resources. I realized how many concepts and topics my old books were completely missing, such as the Great Divine that the God and Goddess speak for and the triple aspect of the Horned God. The beliefs of Wicca fit me well, connecting with me and making me excited to learn.

The name 'The Shaved Rabbit' comes from the term 'fluffy bunny', a (mostly derogatorily used) nickname for teenagers who pick up Wicca but don't realized the seriousness of adopting a religion and dealing with magick and deities. They tend to believe most anything they read, or at least take it only at face value and too literally. I am striving to keep myself away from being 'fluffy', and hopefully I'll help my readers do the same. This post marks the beginning of my traditional 'year and a day' of serious study, and it also marks my journey away from ignorance and towards wisdom, facilitated and tracked by this blog.

Now, dear readers, let's begin our development, not as naive newcomers, but as savvy students looking to learn.

(At this this time, I'd like to say that I appreciate almost any sort of feedback regarding anything on this blog, be it a post or the site's background. I will accept suggestion for topics and will gladly answer questions to the best of my abilities. However, please accept the fact that I reserve the right to not comment of question I find inappropriate. Please put these in the comments section of a post or send them through the 'Questions and Feedback' section in the sidebar. Thank you.)